This blog is moving!

2 05 2010

You can now find ithere.



Kids having kids.

26 01 2010

A girl in my neighbourhood gave birth about a week ago. She’s 12 years old. There are 15 people living in her 3 bedroom house. It’s filthy and there are now 3 young children there. Today the 12 year old mother’s mother got arrested for possession of drugs. There are still a lot of addicts living in that house.

For a reason I don’t know, Social Services haven’t got involved. It’s ridiculous. There is a twelve year old trying to look after baby amongst a houseful of drug addicts, alcoholics and lazy, unemployed adults who aren’t much more capable of looking after children themselves. To be quite honest, it makes me hate the way things are run around here. There was a gun scare at my school on Friday, and an old friend has apparently committed suicide.

It’s all a little surreal. Just-turned-teens having kids, guns, suicide. They’re all things I thought I would never come across. You see things on the news and hear stories, but there’s a little part that says “don’t listen, it’s the media” and you go on with your life thinking these things are just anomalies. Shocking, yes, but rare and unlikely. It’s starting to dawn on me that whilst there are still trees that look beautiful at sunset and fields that haven’t been cut for decades and all manner of beautiful things, the world can be dark. It can be scary, and there are a great many things in it that contain no beauty at all, no matter how hard you search for something good in a bad situation.

This also leads me on to saying that I’ve been fifteen years of age for well over a month now. I’ve seen more unpleasant things in the last few weeks than I can remember, and it makes me wonder if they were always there and I just never noticed because I was lost in my own childish world. I can’t stop myself from growing up, but I won’t forget how to have fun. I won’t forget that when making an outfit for a child’s art project you can put the sheet over yourself and run around making ghost noises for a good ten minutes. I’ll keep myself aware of war and poverty and terrible things like the Haitian earthquake, but twenty years from now I’ll still be able to look at a tree without thinking of a table.

I won’t forget fun.

Wreck the halls.

19 12 2009

Oh dear, this place is a mess. I’m ashamed, really. Just another teenager left home alone who doesn’t tidy up behind herself and forgets to do chores because she’s busy watching old episodes of Fringe. I bloody love Fringe.

My mother is in hospital again, she’s just had her ovaries taken out and should be home tomorrow. Gran’s been offering to come up and stay, but there’s no way I’m letting her see my room. The shambles that it is. I’ll get the place tidied before mum gets back tomorrow. At least, I’ll think about it. It’s the thought that counts.

The dog’s not eating anything. It’s scary.

Also, how many days until Christmas day now? Eight? Nine? SIX?! I still haven’t bought any presents, and forget about your cards. I’ve been meaning to, but with mum in hospital it just hasn’t happened. The three younger brothers are semi-behaving, which is progress. “You’re not our mum.” is the most commonly used phrase in our house at the moment. No surprise there.

I should get a poem up on here soon, I just have to write one that I like first. Tougher than you think.

My mother is drunk.

11 12 2009

And is singing “What should we do with the drunken sailor” over and over. It’s quite funny really, if you look past the embarrassment.

She’s also almost poked me in the eye 4 times due to random outbursts about how stupid she thinks various things are. Like the school getting my brothers’ names the wrong way round on one of those little accident forms.

My birthday on Monday!

Schedule for the weekend:

  • Saturday morning – shopping for brothers birthday present and friends birthday present. Both late, of course.
  • Saturday evening – Friends birthday meal. Eating Spaghetti Carbonara or something like that. It’s supposed to be nice.
  • Saturday night – X Factor final, what else?
  • Sunday morning – Christmas shopping with the hopefully sober mother. MUST BUY GUITAR FOR 5 YEAR OLD BROTHER OR BE FOREVER BRANDED WORST SISTER IN THE WORLD.
  • Sunday evening – Wrapping the Christmas presents and complaining about how little money I have left.
  • Sunday night – Homework. (This probably won’t get done)

And amongst that I’ll sneak in some reading and a little bit of writing. Left two poems down Gran’s house so you don’t get to see them, you lucky people. I do love her cat though.

I love my cat.

She’s one of those yeah, a quick scratch behind the ear and then be gone, peasant types. So today it was a big surprise that she let me pet her for nearly an hour. I had a nap in that time as well. Really, I think she was cold (I need a heater). Petting cats is so relaxing.

Oh, that’s a point; my Gran’s teaching me how to knit.

It’s exciting.

I start out with 30 stitches and end up with 43.


I’ll post on this thing more.

Peace out for now, sweethearts,



Stalkers and abuse at church? Not nice.

6 12 2009

Hello again. My life? Yeah, it’s going pretty damn great thanks. Came home for the weekend and damn, I’m enjoying internet access on the laptop. Going back to Grans tomorrow because I just miss her cat Tim-tims so much. It’s really peaceful and quiet down there, and I can really focus on some writing. Talking of writing, I wrote a poem the other day which I’ll post some time soon. I haven’t written much more of my NaNovel, but I have got planning in the works for another, which I think is considerably better. Only clue you’re getting is the title: The Spider Network.

In other news, you’re probably wondering about the title.

Number 1: My mother had an asthma attack last night. She’s okay now, but the reason behind it was that she was being followed by a tall, skinny teenager in a black hoodie. Apparently he asked her what the road was and after she told him he followed her and asked her where she lived, whether she was married, if she had kids. When she told him it was none of his business and asked why he was following her, his answer was “I’m waiting for a mate.”

Ah, the youth of today. It’s a good thing I’m not one of those this generation is hopelessly stupid types.

Number 2: We received a letter from the police yesterday. It said that someone from the bible club they go to had been arrested and let out on conditional bail because of allegations of abuse on a little girl. I mean, it’s not acceptable anywhere, but in church?! They couldn’t say who it was, but we have our suspicions. A certain member there has hurt my brothers while they were playing a lot of times. Anyway, my brothers are still going. I’m in awe, to be quite honest. It’s a CHURCH. Stuff like that just doesn’t happen in churches, right? You’d think so, anyway.

On a lighter note, because we really do need one, I’m buying individual decorations for my Christmas tree, and have 4 so far, with ribbon as opposed to tinsel. I’m also making paper chains for my ceiling. My mum came in earlier, asked what I was doing, then when it was explained to her she said: “That’s very … creative. I admire your spirit.”

Seriously? That’s the kind of thing you say to 8 year olds who can’t draw.


Night folks.


Grandma, we love you.

2 12 2009

Howdy, few blog readers.
I’m staying with my grandma for a while. Getting a break from the brothers, you know? Only net access is on my phone so apologies for the bad writing. I type so slow I don’t even know where I am.

Didn’t win nanowrimo, got to just over 40K. Won’t take a week off next year.
I did however, rediscover my love of writing. When I get net back I might make a separate blog for writing. Maybe I’ll just post them on this blog, who knows.

Off I go to write a poem or two.

I live for the days when I realize almost everything I do is worth blogging about.

16 11 2009

Today, dear people of the internet, was extra ordinary.

Things I did today/that happened today:

  • Got to school ON TIME and stayed all day.
  • Had double Geography first. The conversation in that lesson went from dams to books to Megan Fox to Beijing to Holland to Cannabis to prostitution to massages. I think I learnt a fair few new words, but maybe not ones to use in any civilised conversation.
  • Ate a banana at break, but lost my orange at lunch because it rolled away from me.
  • Had double Art, in which Elliot (who insists on calling me Lets Go Chase The Sunset because of a Bebo page I had over a year ago) fanned me with an A3 cutting board and made my rubbish go all over the floor. Got a cat stencil cut out though, and someone said I was safe, not that I’d been feeling in any particular danger, but it’s nice to know.
  • Sat with the normal lot at lunch until me and Lily went to find Emily and ended up sitting with a load of boys, discussing Jedward. I do love Jedward.
  • Decided to look at Travel and Tourism as a “filler lesson”.
  • Had English, started an essay on 2 rather fantastic pieces of poetry, I think NaNoWriMo has brought out those long words I’d been hiding for an English lesson on a rainy day. Indeed, the rain was desperate to feel already slippery mud today.
  • Walked home in the ran to find a cup of tea and a bath waiting for me, courtesy of my mother. I love when she does that for me.
  • Told brother to stop whining at least 2 dozen times.
  • Blogged about my day.


Things I need to do today:

  • Check for homework and get it done if need be.
  • Get homework diary signed.
  • Record the 3D magic thing with Derren Brown
  • Watch Flash Forward and Ugly Betty, recording I’m a Celeb at the same time.
  • WRITE, WRITE, WRITE. NaNoVille is missing me already, it’s called me 7 times today and left 2 voice messages.


Will have to buy more rewards tomorrow, and ouch, my throat hurts.


P.s. I wrote a Haiku early this morning …

Toast turns slowly black

Charcoal is my fav’rite snack

Breakfast time again


(Shush, favourite wouldn’t fit)